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Q: After three years of being divorced, I’ve finally met a guy that really interests me. He’s kind, funny and hard-working. The catch is that he’s legally still married. They’ve been separated for over a year and just have “some financial things” to sort out. We’ve been together for only a few months, and I’m in no rush to settle down again. Still, he’s made no move to hurry things along since we’ve gotten serious and my friends say this is a serious red flag. Is it fair of me to give him a deadline? - Lauren, 51

Dr. Susan: You say you're in no rush to settle down, so giving him an ultimatum would be premature. I know couples who are definitely "divorced" in their minds, but haven't taken the trouble to finalize the paperwork. Is their separation at least confirmed with paperwork? You can try asking him what the hold-up is that's keeping him tied to his ex. Not in a pushy way, as that may be too personal for him to share with you at this point. Your friends are just looking out for you, but if you love him and believe he loves you, relax a while longer.