Second Date Blues
Q:
After a week of flirty texts, I had an amazing first date with a lovely woman. We talked nonstop through dinner and shared a hot make-out session in the cab on the way home. She turned down my invitation to continue the fun at my place, but said she looked forward to that in the future. On our second date, she seemed distant, disinterested, and pulled away when I touched her. That date ended in an awkward hug. What gives? Should I try again or move on? - Jason, 45
Dr. Susan:
People do things that are hard to explain. I don't know why this girl agreed to a second date if she already had second feelings about how the first date went. But that does happen. Especially if there's wine involved in the dinner, and/or the physical just took over for her. In other words, all that dinner conversation notwithstanding, when it came time to go home, you were possibly just a guy to her, any guy, and making out was simply fun.
I don't think you ought to try again. I would write one more email or text asking her what happened between date one and date two, but I wouldn't expect true enlightenment. She either lost interest suddenly, or is now involved with someone else. It happens.
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.