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Q: I’m really attracted to a guy at work, but I have a boyfriend. My coworker knows I’m taken, but he still flirts with me like crazy. I can’t help how I feel when he’s around. I get all jittery inside and I know I smile a lot because my friends at work tease me about having a crush on him. This guy has to know that I’m interested too. The problem is my boyfriend is really great, and we’ve been together for five years now. I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t seem to resist talking to this new guy when he comes near me. Yesterday he asked me to meet him for a drink after work, and I did. I told a white lie to my boyfriend, saying I went out with a group from work. Am I stupid for giving in to how I feel? I just don’t want my life to be boring forever! Help! - Trish, 29

Dr. Susan: If you're bored before you hit 30, and you've been with the same "great" guy for five years, maybe it's time for the two of you to reassess your relationship. Notice I wrote "the two of you," not the "three of you"? You're on your way to betraying your boyfriend for the temporary thrill of connecting with a new guy. If you don't want to hurt your boyfriend, stop right now and make sure you don't have an affair. That would definitely hurt him a lot.

Of course you can't help how you feel about this flirty guy at work, but you can help how you react. Don't flirt back. Tell him you have a boyfriend and you've decided not to mess that up. Then grow up and make an honest choice: remaining true to your boyfriend or telling him you're leaving him to see what else is out there. Or you can continue on this path and make more dishonest choices.