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Q: My friends keep trying to set me up with women they know. These ladies are not very attractive and are usually fat. Plus they always ask what I do for a living, and I don’t want to tell them that I’m a bill collector. When I do say that, they make all kinds of comments and I end up angry and the date ends a mess. I’ve told my friends they need to find better looking women to fix me up with. I know I could stand to lose a few pounds myself, but I want a woman who looks good. How can I meet women who are hotter? - Sean, 28

Dr. Susan: Your problem is two-fold. You want to date women who are more attractive than you are, and you go on dates already feeling defensive about your job. Fair enough to let your friends know you won't date women who are overweight. Then you're on your own finding hot women who won't ask you what you do for a living. But don't you see that this is an innocent question that just about all women will ask? Surely you can come up with some amusing answers to their follow-up comments that won't set off your defensiveness and ruin the date.

Remember, you only need one woman who appears hot to your eyes, not dozens of them. And you could find her anywhere you'd find ANY women, from online dating to gyms to singles events or group hikes. I get it that you are a visual person, like most men. Just don't let your picky standards get in the way of a fun relationship.