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Q: I think my sister is having an affair, and I don’t know what to do. I have asked her if everything is okay, and she just brushes me off. She’s been a lot happier and a lot busier lately. She never seems to be home. I saw her out in a different part of town walking with a younger guy earlier this week. I’m afraid to ask her what she was doing there and who the guy is. Her husband is really sweet and mellow. She’s real private and doesn’t share a lot of her feelings. If I find out she’s having an affair, do I tell her husband? Do I tell her she has to stop? I don’t like suspecting her, but I don’t think she’s doing what’s right as a married woman. - Kate, 32

Dr. Susan: Number one piece of advice: you are not your sister's keeper. You can't take responsibility for her poor choices, if indeed she is having an affair. If she won't talk to you, and is typically a private person, there is nothing you can do. If, in the unlikely event you do get solid evidence, talk to her first. She should be the one to take action, not you. However, if you find out she's having an affair, it's incumbent on you to let her know you have to stop socializing with her and her husband. That way you won't be helping her keep up the lie.