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Can You Get a Guy to Commit?
Q:
Have I been dumped? I've been with "Jared" off and on for about two years. After our last fight (which was — surprise! — about his commitment issues), he went AWOL. He hasn't returned texts or calls and didn't show up to a party hosted by our mutual friends. It's been a week. Did we break up? --Allie, 22
Dr. Susan:
If you have to write to an advice columnist to find out whether you and your boyfriend are still together, I'd have to say, No, you are definitely not a couple any longer. And what's with the relationship being "off and on" for two years? That's a lot of waffling. Maybe you are seeking commitment at too early a stage in your life. It would be wise to learn the signs of a commitment-phobic guy. Too little dependability, too many fights. Why bother? I wouldn't call it being dumped. I'd say at least one of you realized this relationship doesn't have lasting power. Even if he wants to try being "on" again, I'd walk away from him.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.
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