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Uprooted and Miserable
Q:
Last year, I moved my family to a country on the other side of the world for my husband's career. The adjustment to a new culture and his demanding new schedule, all without the support of close friends or family, has not been an easy one for me. But he's loving it! He's like a different person here: hitting happy hour with his colleagues, working late and jet-setting around the world for meetings. I miss my "old" homebody husband and want to move back to the U.S. with the kids, but he's not ready. Should I go without him? --Alexa, 43
Dr. Susan:
My answer has to depend on how long the two of you were planning to stay abroad. Was it meant to be a time-delimited transfer? Because if you knew when it would be over, you might be able to hang in there for your husband's sake. But if he's having such a great time and you're having such a terrible and lonely time, the two of you must have a serious conversation about the future. Compromise is a necessity in any long-term relationship. Your husband needs to spend more time with you and the kids, obviously. To move back without him would be a very serious decision, so, with him, think through all the pros and cons.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.
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