Suddenly He’s Too Busy for Her?
Q:
My boyfriend and I were hot and heavy, but now he doesn’t want to hang out as much. He says he’s too busy. Plus he’s got two kids from two different girls and he never seems to know when he’s going to have daddy duty. The kids’ moms just drop them off with my BF when they get fed up. He also recently got laid off from his job, so shouldn’t he have more time for me? Do you think he’s not that into me or should I hang around to see if he really loves me? – Lauren, 27
Dr. Susan:
Hot and heavy is fun, but it doesn’t tell you a crumb about real love. It sounds like your boyfriend isn’t the best bet for a long-term relationship. Are you willing to hang around waiting for attention while he tends to his children (two from two women already)? His being laid-off theoretically gives him more time for you, but he may not want to spend money on dates or do much of anything if he’s feeling down about the job loss.
If you’re comfortable doing so, ask him what he’s busy with, and if you can help. If you’re not comfortable asking questions, or you’re reluctant to help him with those kids who keep being dropped off, this guy is probably not for you. Move on.
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.