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Q: I can’t stop thinking about my ex. We dated years ago, when I was much younger, and we broke up for reasons that now seem silly and immature. I contacted her once, not long after the breakup, to let her know I made a huge mistake. She was kind, but told me she had started seeing someone new. They eventually got married. I still hear about her from time to time, through mutual friends or online, and have heard they just divorced. Should I reach out to her again? What should I say? – Robert, 32

Dr. Susan: It’s hard to say whether your timing is good or unfortunate. She’ll be on the rebound and might be willing to see you for old times’ sake. But then again, she may be so fed up with relationships that she won’t be interested. Also, she may harbor less positive memories of you than you do of her. Bottom line, though, is that you have nothing to lose by reaching out. You could start by calling or emailing one of those mutual friends and seeing if they have any details about her mental status. Then write her or phone her and say you’ve been thinking of her and heard she got divorced and were wondering if she’d like to meet for coffee just to get up to date with what’s going on in both your lives. If she’s curious, great. If not, she’ll let you know.