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Q: Over the past several years, the neighborhood in which we live has become increasingly congested. My husband has become aggressive behind the wheel and even once followed another driver into a parking lot to dispute a narrowly missed accident. I've expressed my concern repeatedly and have even threatened to not ride with him anymore-but is this ultimatum helpful or hurtful? - Thelma, 52

Dr. Susan: An ultimatum is only helpful if you mean it. If your husband assumes you're bluffing, making a threat you can't or won't follow through on, he will naturally ignore you. I would be concerned, as you are, with his short-sighted behavior. Disputing a near-accident with a stranger by following him into a parking lot has, I'm pretty sure, cost at least a life or two. Your husband needs to do something about his aggressiveness and anger issues. Trying to proves he's in the right could someday be his last day. Be ready to find other ways to get where you need to go without him driving you in the car.