Search

Q: My wife got downsized from her company a few months ago. I wanted her to take a little time off before jumping back into the workforce. But now I’m worried about her drinking. Before she lost her job she drank occasionally, mostly on the weekends. I don’t know if it’s because she has too much time on her hands, but when I get home from work every day she has a cocktail in her hand and is already tipsy. I’ve told her that I think she’s drinking too much, and she says she’s on “vacation” now and will stop when she returns to work. Her mother was an alcoholic, which makes me more aware of this. What more can I do?—Ted, 53

Dr. Susan: I think you’re right to worry, especially with your wife’s family history. People who have been used to the structure of a long-term job sometimes don’t quite know how to handle all the free time. After several months, perhaps it’s time for her to get out there again. Aside from the sheer worry that she’ll get used to drinking a lot and won’t be able to slow down when she’s working again, you can tell her this: “I love you the way you are when you’re sober. When you’re tipsy already when I come home, I feel disconnected from you. I really wish you’d hear me and cut down on the drinking right now.” Another thing you can remind her of is that for women, almost any alcohol on a daily basis is a known risk factor for breast cancer. Your best bet, though, is to help her get ready to find a job and get engaged with life again. Good luck, because alcoholics, even those who admit that’s what they are, are extremely resistant to changing.