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Q: I’m debating using a “performance enhancing” drug to help bring some spark back into my relationship with my wife. I’ve been monogamous, but after 22 years I feel like I need a boost. I’m afraid if she finds out she might feel she’s not satisfying me. Does she really need to know? – Phillip, 47

Dr. Susan: Yes, Phillip, your wife should be made aware that you’re taking a drug to help your love-life. Not telling her might make her even more suspicious, because if she learns your secret, she may suspect your motives. I believe the result of taking one of those drugs would be noticeable to her anyway. I understand your desire for a revived erotic life, and I admire your wish to keep it “in the family,” so to speak. Secrets just have a way of backfiring. Surely, she’s smart enough to understand that it’s not her, specifically, but simply the fact of your long marriage that is causing you to want to try something new. Find out more about what to expect, then discuss it with her before seeing your doctor for a prescription. And don’t fall for any fake medications that do nothing.