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Q: I've been on two fantastic dates with a guy I thought was Mr. Right, but on the third date something happened that's made me rethink the whole thing: he couldn't change a flat. I never would have expected it from this guy. He looks like Tyrese and acts like John Wayne. But what kind of guy can't change a tire? I mean, I can't do it, but I expect any real man to be able to. Is that hypocritical? - Tamara, 32

Dr. Susan: Don't make me laugh. Can you crochet a nice doily? Can you mend a sock? Can you plink out a sonata on the piano? Can you bake bread from scratch? Can you speak foreign languages? All of those skills were expected of a real lady not that long ago. What we think of as "real men" and "real women" changes with the generations, society's expectations, and where you live. These abilities aren't wired into the sex chromosomes. With the ease of hiring help and joining the auto club, plenty of young men haven't had to contend with the heavy dirty work of tire-changing. Open your mind and judge this fellow by how kind he is and whether he makes you laugh, not on any single thing he can do or hasn't learned to do.