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Q: I've been dating this guy for a while. When he gets mad at me, he says he's seeing someone else and then he denies it. He's lied to me twice. He said his female roommate was just a friend, but I find out she's his ex! He's hurt me a lot emotionally. I'm lost. Please help! -- Sandy, 26

Dr. Susan: Both of these types of lies your boyfriend has told you are serious ones. When he is angry at you, he uses emotional blackmail to get you to toe the line. By threatening to withhold his affection, by coming right out and saying he's seeing someone else, he knows he is messing with your mind. When someone does that, it's nearly impossible to trust them or to know what the real truth is. Also, by not telling you about his history with his roommate, he's trying to fool you into trusting him. But trust doesn't work that way. Quite the opposite! I'm not hearing any good reason for you to continue to allow him to hurt you. You've had fair warning. If he doesn't change his dishonest and manipulative ways, why stick around?