Cheating: What's Worse?

The rules used to be so clear: you slept with someone else, you cheated. But as more women joined the workforce and we all got online, the definition of "cheating" has grown broader.

Now according to Shirley Glass, family therapist and author of Not 'Just Friends', the new infidelity is between people who - unwittingly - form deep connections with a friend before realizing things aren't so innocent. It's called an 'emotional affair' and it's often just as damaging as the conventional idea of cheating.

We ask He and She:

What do you think is worse, having a one-night stand with someone other than your mate, or getting emotionally close to someone else, even if sex hasn't entered the picture?

He Says:

Stock photo for article.I'd have a harder time forgiving the one-night stand. In that case, it's so obvious that she overstepped the boundaries - even if it didn't "mean anything" - whereas just being close to someone could mean anything. Maybe they're just good friends. I have trouble seeing how just hanging out and talking or whatever can be considered cheating the same way fooling around would be. It's just not the same.

She Says:

Stock photo for article.Definitely the "emotional affair" would be more damaging to the relationship. A drunken one-night stand with some random chick probably doesn't mean anything. But if he's getting attached to some girl he works with, for example, and is sharing all his secrets and thoughts with her instead of me, that's going to wear on our relationship. It's a way of his withholding intimacy. Sure, it's not as obviously wrong as getting naked with her, but it's probably a sign of bad things to come.

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