Is She Worth The Wait?

We went together for about a year. We were both retired, not working, and once we got to know one another we vacationed together. When the relationship became serious, we both agreed to escape the New England winters by selling our homes and moving south. She had a twenty-five-year-old son that had been living with her. It was agreed that when she and I moved, he would move in with his father. We told him that later on down the line once he had gotten his life together, he was welcome to spend time with us in our new home. When we arrived in Florida, I bought a condo near the beach. We were in the process of buying furniture for the condo and had only been there a few days when her son showed up unexpectedly on our doorstep. He didn't like his stepmother, and never stayed with or even saw his father before he decided to come straight to Florida to live with us. Over the course of a month, I quickly realized that he was quite the "mama's boy." He had a college degree, lost three jobs, and to date his only success had been in selling newspapers. Eventually, I got tired of his obvious freeloading expectations in our home, so I gave him a week to find work and begin to support himself. I made it very clear that if he did not do so within a week, I would not hesitate to kick him out. Needless to say, he was not very happy with me and neither was his mother. With a rebellious spirit, he packed up his things, left the house, and did so without speaking a word. Shortly after her son's departure, I went out of town for three days. During my time away, she called in the movers, packed up the furniture, and ran off to some beach resort. I was astonished when I came home to find a nearly empty house. Now, we still communicate a bit through email. She says she regrets what she did. She says she misses the close relationship that we did have during our time together. I have to admit that I still have feelings for this woman. But, I told her that until she stops catering to her adult son's every whim and woe, there was no way I could consider a reconciliation. I'm torn because I can't decide if I should invest the time and wait around for this woman I care for very much, or if I should just pack it all in and call it quits. I've worked hard all of my life, and now I want to settle down and be with someone I care about for the rest of my life. I don't need a twenty-five-year-old stepson I have to take care of. I already have a son of my own who is forty and moved from home a long time ago. I need a companion. I just don't know if she is the one, or if she is even worth the wait.

— Dan, 66

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