No More Dinner Dates

I met this woman at a party through mutual friends last New Years Eve. We hit it off and were dancing all night. She gave me her phone number and e-mail address. After a couple of weeks of exchanging flirtatious calls and e-mails, we made plans for brunch and a movie. We got to the diner and I ordered an omelet. She ordered bacon and eggs "softly scrambled." The food came and she started talking and chewing with her mouth full of eggs. They were flying out of her mouth and I was ready to throw up. I actually had a flash back to first grade when this kid Barry ate a tuna on white bread with his mouth open and I barfed on him. I figured maybe she was a little nervous. "Slow down," I said, "We have time before the movie starts." "This is how I eat," she said, eggs flying. No more dinner dates.

— Dave, 43

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