Maybe It Was the Spinach

I had this crush on a girl at work for the longest time, and finally got enough balls to ask her out. To my surprise she said yes, and I started putting my game plan together. I was going to take her miniature golfing and then to a park to have dinner. I called to confirm everything on Thursday evening, but on Friday she was not at work. I was kind of skeptical about our date at that point, but I proceeded with my plans and went to pick her up as scheduled. She came to the door dressed very nicely but with a strange look about her. I asked her why she hadn't been at work that day, and she said she had had the stomach flu; she would have called me, but she had slept it off and felt fine. So we proceeded with our date, which started out quite well. We had a blast golfing, and then I explained that I had a surprise for her later on. She got very turned on by this, but I kept my cool and drove to the park. She was impressed as we laid the blanket out by a tree to have our dinner. Now, I am quite a cook, so I had prepared smothered spinach chicken breast with rice and strawberries, along with a bottle of wine for dessert. She looked at the food and became disgusted, starting to yell at me about how I could be so cruel as to kill an innocent chicken. Then she began throwing items off the blanket, including my prepared meal and all the nice extras I had lying out. She told me I was brutal and should be ashamed of myself. Needless to say, I picked everything up and left. To this day I still do not know how she got home.

— Matthew, 28

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