Dating Fiasca

This horrific dating fiasco occurred in 1996, but it was so bad that I still remember it vividly. I made the fatal mistake of asking out a co-worker and she agreed. Little did I know that this would prove to be the worse mistake I ever made dating someone. We went out to dinner and saw a movie (typical stuff) and things were going pretty well. Afterward, we stopped at outside coffee/juice bar and got something to drink. We sat down at the outdoor tables and started getting to know one another. Even though things were going well, she seemed painfully shy and reclusive. She smiled a lot but didn't say much. I attributed this to "first date jitters" and I didn't dwell on it. Eventually, it was pretty late and I thought it would be best to get home. I barely knew this girl at all, so I was planning on being the perfect gentleman. I dropped her off in the parking lot where we worked so she could get her car. The entire lot was empty because it was midnight on a Friday night. I thanked her for a good time and I started leaning in to kiss her, and this is where I saw the first sign of weirdness - she told me that wanted to kiss me, but "not here." She was afraid that someone from work might see it. I reassured her that no one was in the parking lot, let alone in the building, because all the lights were off. Then, she suggested that we get in the car to do it. Then that wasn't any good for her either - eventually she made such an ordeal out of this that I was beginning to think she was childish. This girl was 24 years old and acting like a 4th grader! I lost to urge to kiss her after this. Then, suddenly, she changes gears. Instead of getting a kiss from her, she asks me, "Do you have a couch I could sleep on?" She lived far away from work and didn't want to make the drive (I should point out that I lived far from work too - in the opposite direction). Needless to say, I got her vibe that she wanted to have sex. I played along and told her, "Sure, no problem." She followed me to my apartment. When we got there, I offered her a glass of wine. She sucked it down so fast; I've never seen anything like it (not even back in college!) and immediately refilled the glass. We were talking about music and she mentioned a CD that I had. I told her that it was in my car and I'd run outside and get it. I was gone for a total of 2 minutes. When I returned, she was sitting on my couch totally naked holding the bottle of wine! On the surface, I was like, "Cool!" and just went with it. I still thought it was weird that she wouldn't even give me a good night kiss, yet she could pummel an entire bottle of wine naked on my couch 90-minutes later. So, I made the mistake of sleeping with her. Then, things got weirder.... We dated for about one week after that. The day before that last date, I received a call from my parents that they needed my help doing something on the same day we were scheduled to go out. I called her from my desk at work and told her what happened. I provided a very real, very valid reason - even said I would reschedule. I wasn't even done talking and the idiot hung up on me! I was furious. I decided right then and there, that I was no longer interested. She hardly knew me, yet she was willing to make such an obviously bad impression. That let me know that things would only get worse if I kept seeing her. I figured, since she was the one who hung up on me that I was going to leave her alone entirely. I never called her back, never said another word to her. About a week later, I was leaving work for the day and I was talking with co-workers. All of a sudden, this girl comes storming up to me and shouts, "I just want you to know that you're off the hook. I won't ever be bothering you again!" She started to walk out and I was like, "Oh, no she doesn't!" So, I followed her out the door into the parking lot. I kept telling her to stop over and over and she just kept walking. I could hear her crying, even though she was in front of me. I finally ran up in front of her and got in her face and made her stop. I told her that she wasn't getting off that easily before I had my say in the matter. She started telling me how mean I was, and then I reminded her that this was HER doing. I asked her to give me one good reason why I should continue to talk to her after the impression she made. I listed off how things had gone from the beginning. And then, the hanging up nonsense! Then, I got the surprise of my life: she screamed at the top of her lungs (in pubic while tons of people were getting into their cars to go home), "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ON PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION FOR SOCIAL PHOBIAS!!!! DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO EVEN HAVE THE NERVE TO GO OUT WITH YOU?!?!" My mouth hit the ground. First off, you won't kiss me in a dark, empty parking lot, but you'll scream your personal business in the same parking lot in broad daylight, embarrass the hell out of me, and make a scene in front of hundreds of people? She rattled off a half dozen prescription names for what she takes, and then she softened and started apologizing profusely. She begged for a second chance. I told her that I was sorry for all her problems, but I'm not about to make her problems my own. For weeks after this, I would get notes on my desk ... she even bought me a $200 Swiss Army knife from Tiffany's (that I gave back)! I would get these schizoid messages on my home answering machine saying stuff like, "I really, REALLY like you......why won't you call me?" Each thing she did only solidified that my decision was correct. What a total psychopath! Needless to say, when I met my wife one year later, I knew she was the right one for me: she was amazingly NORMAL.

— Jim, 33

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