At A Complete Loss

A year after a very unpleasant breakup, after seven years together, he dumped me over the phone just two days after having sex with me and telling me he loved me. I finally decided that I am now ready and interested in finding a "real" relationship, as opposed to the lovely but superficial "Friends With Benefits" with whom I've been amusing myself for the past year. Last Friday, I had a first date with what I thought was a nice man I met online. We really hit it off, had fun and great conversation. He asked to see me again the next evening. So, Saturday, we had another great date. As I was leaving to go home, he said, "I'll give you a call tomorrow. Let's do something next week!" sounding genuinely pleased and excited at the prospect of getting together again. It's now Thursday evening, and I haven't heard from him at all. I've left one brief voicemail and one brief email, and he is apparently refusing to return either of them. I'm completely at a loss as to what happened. I have no idea what changed or what I did to offend him. I'm fairly certain I did nothing weird or wrong on the second date, and I can't believe that a fifty-three-year-old man could behave so rudely and immaturely. How do men sleep?

— Elizabeth, 36

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