Dysfunctional Little Member

I am a forty-four-year-old married woman. I met a forty-eight-year-old single man while I was caring for his dying brother. My husband and I separated. This other man went back home (a thousand miles away) after his brother died. I called him and his family a few weeks later just to see how they were doing. He asked me if he could call me from time to time. I, like a fool, said yes. The phone calls came every day, sometimes five to six times a day. He said it was the time in his life when he wanted to settled down. He said that I was just what he was looking for instead of the woman he meets in bars and clubs. He talked about marriage and living together wherever I wanted. He has a seven-year-old son from a previous relationship. He claims this is why he is living where he is because he needed to be closer to his son. Anyway, he came back here for one week. We spent a good bit of time together. Whenever the sex thing came up, he would say, "It just has to be perfect." Well, the last night he was here, we were at his mother's when one thing led to another. It happened, and I said, "What was that?" It lasted for three minutes at the most. He obviously had a problem, if you know what I mean. He went back home, saying he was moving up here to be with me and to find a place for us together. I planned to go there to meet him so he wouldn't have to drive all the way back with his things by himself. I ended up buying my own airplane ticket down. I got there to find out three days later that he couldn't come up because he just couldn't leave his son. While there, I thought he would want sex all the time. I was very wrong. In fact, on one occasion he tried and said, "This never happened to me before. I can't even have sex with you." I felt like a piece of dirt, but I stayed. I left to come home a few days later. Needless to say, I paid for my own ticket back home. The phone calls continued, and they actually turned into phone sex for him. He took a lot of pictures of me when I was there, nothing bad, just pictures. I think he would look at them and talk to me on the phone. He showed me pictures when I was there of the woman he dumped for me. He also said he dated six to seven hundred women. Two days before Thanksgiving he stopped calling me, after telling me the night before how much he loved me and that he was coming up for the holidays. Then he emailed me two weeks later. He said it was real for him, but he just couldn't give me what I needed. He said he needed to understand himself although he still loved and missed me. I told him to take his dysfunctional little member and stick it. He called me back and wanted to get a second chance. What a fool I was. He called again everyday, sometimes several times a day, for two weeks. Then he stopped calling again two days before Christmas. He had said he wouldn't be up for Christmas but that he'd come see me shortly thereafter. I'm still holding my breath. This was all over an eight-month period.

— Clarissa, 44

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