No Donuts, Thank You!

Around 1982, I was in a group called "Parents Without Partners". I went to a dance one evening. I was having a nice time dancing with various friends. A pleasant man asked me to dance, so we danced a few times. Later, he asked me if I would maybe go out with him on a casual date. I said okay, and gave him my phone number. We decided to go to a theater to see a movie. When he came to pick me up for the date, he came to my door looking like Johnny Appleseed. He had on a flannel shirt and overalls, not looking anything like he had at the dance. All that was missing was a piece of straw in the side of his mouth. He walked me out to his truck and, to my surprise, when he opened the door there was an inflatable donut in his seat. He proceeded to tell me that he'd had butt surgery since I'd seen him. Well, that was an uncomfortable conversation. I thought, okay, this is turning out already to be a weird date. When we went to the theater, he took the darned inflated ring pillow into the theater with us. People would look back and forth at each of us. I felt like they were saying, "What the heck are you doing with that Doofus?" He didn't hold the thing like you would think that most people would. No, the goofball was twirling it around on his finger. I was mortified. All that I could think about was please let this evening hurry up and end. It ended with a hug at the door. Needless to say, that was the one and only date with the donut-twirling Appleseed.

— Janet, 42

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