Prepared To Jump

My worst dating disaster occurred on a Saturday evening aboard a cruise ship. This dinner cruise sails up and down the Ohio River, serves an excellent meal, and provides musical entertainment for dancing. Sounds wonderful? Sure, but not with Mr. Wrong! I met Mr. Wrong at a nearby parking lot. He was driving his work vehicle, which was a heating and cooling truck. He said that he didn't have time to clean his car up for me. And the work truck was clean? No way, it was filthy. At dinner he drooled all over his chin, his clothes, the table, and my hand when he could grab it. He was totally in love with me from the start and was ready to get married. Gross! I wanted to jump ship and swim across the Ohio. I wonder how cold it is in there? Then he proceeded to show me his trigger finger, but he couldn't because it was missing. I wanted to throw up for sure by then. He told me how he had cut it off so that he wouldn't have to be drafted to the Vietnam war. That river water was getting warmer by the minute. Then he wanted to dance. Good, I thought. I can move around and move away. But then the band played a slow song. So, he grabbed me and pulled me into his chest, and I felt his penis press up against my leg. Gross out! Help me! Somebody, help me! I don't know how to swim, but I was ready to just drown! That was the longest four hours of my entire life. I've never been back there, and I never went out with him again.

— Vanessa, 26

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