It Was All A Front

I have experienced dating disasters for most of my life. I married two gigolos that turned out to be real players. They used the catch of asking questions about past relationships, childhood, and family disasters to act like they cared. That is an easy way for them to take your emotional upset to gain your trust, and then hit you up for a roll in the sack. I had a man who was forty-two years old telling women he was in his thirties. He was always around females listening and asking questions like, are you married? Do you have kids? Where do you live? What happened to your relationships with other men? He would pretend to be your best friend, and promised he wouldn't do those kinds of things. He said he hadn't been involved with a woman or had any sex for a long time, since 1981. He said he liked to talk to woman because men were boring. What a line to explain his flirting. He eventually wanted to meet my children. He played with them and became their best buddy. He was a great uncle to everyone. I found out later that was one way he used to get involved with women, by gaining the trust of their children. He would go up to kids, be all smiles, and start joking around with them. The mommy, of course, was there and, after playing a bit with the children, he next went straight to the mommy. Once he had the mommy's attention, the flirting would begin. We would be out as a couple together, and he would do this all the time. He was a real player. Well, I discovered this after I had married him. He would often approach young women in their twenties, talking the same identical way as he had with me. I would be left standing alone with strangers while he was putting hits on other females. He told me it was okay as long as he didn't touch them. Well, for a man who hadn't had sex for a very long time, he sure was trying to hit scores with other women. When he went to work for a new company, he used to come home and tell me how he flirted and made sexual innuendos with his female coworkers. He had the arrogance to tell me specific things that turned him on about different women at his job, yet he said it was all okay because he was just watching, he wasn't doing anything. I never got a chance to talk to these women because he would say nasty things about me so they wouldn't talk to me. They would be very rude when I showed up at his lunch time. He told me about this specific coworker that he really liked. She was in her twenties. He told me that he thought every part of her was sexy. He said she was skinny, beautiful, and had a really nice butt. He used to make it a point to take his smoke breaks and his lunch breaks when she did. Then he came home mad when another guy wanted to ask her out. He had his affairs at work. He often said he would be working overtime. My friend told me to check his paycheck stubs and, sure enough, all summer long he wasn't working. He later got another job and did the same kinds of things there, too. I later found out that he had been involved with prostitutes, and even got sexually involved with women who worked with him in the military. I am writing this to warn other women to beware of men who start talking to you about your kids and family. You need to determine if they are sincere, or just using those topics for a pick-up line. Smiling, being understanding, and playing with your children can be just a front for him to get what he wants. I found that out the hard way. Also beware of men who say they are having financial troubles. They'll make you feel sorry for them, and you'll end up paying for the dates and everything. When you start dishing out money to a man, he wants only two things; sex and money. Then when he's done with you, he'll move on to another. Watch out for these individuals. They are out there.

— Louise, 44

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