If He Sounds Too Good to Be True…

I met this wonderful man online who was funny, smart, sexy, and "everything" I was looking for. After burning up hours of internet and long-distance phone time for three months, we met in person and hit it off immediately. He was a bit "financially embarrassed" at the time, so I ended up paying for everything we did - including flying home to meet my family. At the end of my visit home (I was stationed overseas with the US army at the time) we decided that we were "hooked up" and he would soon join me overseas for the duration of my tour. Well, six months later he hadn't gotten his financial act together enough to join me, but we were still burning hours of internet and phone time daily. I went to visit him for my summer vacation and accidentally saw a romantic email he wrote to a woman while I was writing an email to my kids. Strike one. Then I went to check my email online and saw an automatic sign-in link for an online dating site. Strike two. When I confronted him about it, he turned to stone and refused to discuss it except to say, "I never meant to hurt you." By this time, I had been trying to curtail the remainder of my overseas tour and get an early return stateside to move in with him - with my kids. After getting through the rest of the vacation and returning to my unit overseas, I started snooping on the dating sites and found him on no less than twenty dating sites - "single and looking" noted as his status on every single one, and looking for women much younger than me. Ok, now I'm stupid, mad, hurt, and out almost three grand on vacations, loans, and plane tickets, risking my career by trying to move stateside early, planning to uproot my kids yet again .... and he is SINGLE AND LOOKING?! At one point he had told me his standard password, so I got my revenge by logging into every single site I could find him on and changed his profile and pictures to something "slightly" less flattering. He is still out there, still preying on females whether they are married or single, and is STILL very much single. The moral of the story is - if he sounds too good to be true - do a simple online search. It's amazing what you can find if you look.

— Carolyn, 44

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