A Woman Hurt

Almost two years have gone by since I received an email that broke my heart and destroyed the love I held so dear. The words were childlike, but the purpose was most adult and very cruel; sent to destroy the love I held so dear. My boyfriend's young daughter decided it was time I knew there was a new girlfriend. She wrote a detailed description of her father's surprise birthday party, held at his "new girlfriend's" house. She attached a photo. She achieved the desired effect; I was completely shocked and heard my heart break as I read the email. I don't know why she felt the need to be so cruel, but it was at this moment in time that she ceased to exist in my life. Stunned and shocked, I sat there and stared at her words. Only 7 weeks earlier, he had been visiting me, nothing was strange and we talked of our future. We met in September, 1998, fell in love and quickly became seriously involved. Within a year, he sold his house in England, quit his job and came to live with me for 6 months, giving us time to work on a plan for our future. We wanted the same things out of life, had similar family values and enjoyed being together all of the time. We talked of the history we were creating and, as he said, "We have our own little world that nobody can take from us." He did it himself. I never suspected anything, and never noticed any change in his behavior. He was always loving, attentive, and very much involved with me in our relationship. Besides, he made some very serious promises and decisions regarding me and our relationship, having almost lost me a year earlier when I discovered he had slept with one of my coworkers! They flirted online and arranged to secretly meet while he was visiting me. She even sent a "doctored up" picture of herself; to his dismay she did NOT look like the picture. He was quiet, upset, and troubled one night and left to go for a long walk, saying he needed "some time" to think. Hours went by, and I began to worry. I called friends, the police, hospitals, and local hotels, but could not find him. He returned in the early morning, tearful, upset, wanting my forgiveness for his behavior. He didn't want to "lose" me, and loved me and so on. He kept asking me to NOT give up on us, to NOT "give up on our little world". Confused, I agreed. Odd for him to be so upset when all he had done was stay in a motel overnight as it was too late to walk home. A few days later, a phone call came from the "woman scorned"! She informed me of their little night together, because she was so angry at him. She felt he had used her and punished him by telling me what they did together. Shocked, hurt, angry; I wanted no more to do with him. After many talks, we decided to put it all on hold, pending my upcoming visit to England to meet his family. He returned to England and I returned to work. I went to England several months later and met his family, all wonderful people. Our relationship survived, and I began trusting him again. The email his daughter sent led to my calling him immediately and confronting him with her email. He confessed he was dating his boss's wife's best friend and had been for several months. He said he didn't want to tell me, as he didn't know that he wanted to give me up. He knew I would end it and never talk to him again. After an emotional conversation, we said goodbye and haven't spoken since. I missed him terribly and wanted to call him, but I would remember why I was hurt and the thought of his betrayal, and that would stop me cold. It was that embarrassment and my pride that kept me from calling and from being hurt further. I realize, in writing this story, just how much I have healed. There was a time I could not even speak about it without falling apart. I hope this helps someone else, who may be going through something similar (I hope not!!).

— Anna, 34

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