I Lost Control

I hadn't had sex for 2 years. I was waiting to meet a special man that I wanted to date before having sex. I was hoping for a great relationship. I started dating online 3 months ago. He was my second date; we met and kissed in a mall parking lot, and the kiss was so sensual. I was desperate to see him again. When he called, I invited him to my home for dinner and a movie. He never came, nor did he call. First time I've ever been stood up. I thought, "He's a jerk, who wants him anyway?" Almost 2 months went by and he sent me an email saying he wanted to see me. Me, like the fool I am, said yes. He came to my house and we made love. He wasn't the greatest lover I'd ever had, but he thought he was the best looking man and lover on earth. When he left, he said he'd call the next day. He never called. I saw him sign online, so I sent him an instant message. As soon as I did, he signed off. That's when I fully understood he only wanted me for sex. I blame myself for being such a fool. I'll never let it happen again. Guys like him wind up being old and lonely men.

— Laura, 50

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