Emotionally Unstable

I met a guy online and we had a lot in common, so I gave him my email address. Then, he started instant messaging me. He was very flirtatious and he slowly seduced me. I ended up giving him my phone number. Never again! Well, I was in the middle of exams and a really hard course at school and he started calling me in the middle of the night. He wanted to have phone sex. He would start describing everything he wanted to do to me. I told him I thought he was sick and he said, "Well, I'm not as bad as I used to be." He said other girls call him all the time asking him for phone sex and that his life has become a 'nightmare' and I am the only one he wants to do this with. Well, I don't want to have phone sex with him because I think it's just screwy and crazy and weird. He also said at first he was going to get together enough money to come visit me after Christmas since I am in a different state and we both really wanted to meet each other in person. So, to test if he really was interested in me, I told him I think we should stop the phone stuff. He said okay, except that he tried calling me again a few more times. Recently, he said he doesn't even think we should be friends, because he is 'still in love with this girl he met last summer.' He even wrote a poem about her and sent it to me! I could not believe it that he would send me this poem about how much he loved this other girl. Apparently, the other girl doesn't want to have anything to do with him, but he is still ga-ga over her and he sees her all the time at church and he thinks that is who God wants him to be with. He usually is up all night and never seems to bother if I call him late, so I called him up and wanted to tell him that I was going to scrounge up the money (use my savings) and meet with him. Well, I called him up and he said, "I'll call you back in five minutes, I have to go to the bathroom." He never called me back. I tried to call him back and his phone was busy for an hour and a half. I was so upset! Finally, I got a hold of him on the phone in the morning and he said, "Well, I am just too tired from all the stuff I'm doing at the church play." I told him that his calling me in the middle of night ruined some of my grades, which it did, but then he told me, "You should have just hung up on me." This guy admittedly says he has a "mood problem." Do you think he is bipolar or do you think he is just emotionally abusive? I still feel enraptured by him, but now I don't trust or like him very well.

— Nan, 19

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