Looking for a Visa, not Love

I guess it was only a matter of time, hanging out in chat rooms and talking to people, that I would find myself involved in an online dating disaster of my own. I met a man living in Montreal who is originally from India. We began talking and found we had some things in common. I was impressed by his knowledge and manners. Our chatting online turned into phone calls, and the phone calls became almost daily right from the start. I will say that I have met some of the most interesting people on the net and even some who have been my friends now for years, so to me this seemed like I had found another real and decent person out there that I could talk to and form a friendship with. But, keeping up appearances is more than some can do and only for a while. Not long after we began talking on the phone, he told me basically his whole life story. His highly successful family in India, his fantastic lifestyle there in Montreal, and no doubt I was thinking I had met somebody who actually had it together. I added his sister in South Africa to my msn and made a wonderful friendship with her, until her very tragic death in a car accident this summer. She was the one person who could tell me the truth about this guy, but I was not picking up on the clues she was giving me. Anyway, our phone calls eventually turned into visits and the first visit was very short, but good. It was about this time that "things" in his life really started to get crazy. His house was broken into, and he went to live with friends. These 'friends" however were also involved in his " business" which, after months of taking careful note of what he was telling me, seemed anything but legitimate. For being the conservative, religious type he claimed to be, he seemed to have no problem drinking. When this guy drinks, it can get ugly fast. Other things in his character became evident over time as well, such as using a lot of French profanity. Besides large amounts of cash, unlisted phone numbers, changing cell numbers, overnight business trips to "Toronto," which actually turned out to be Cornwall, some highly questionable "friends", and lots of big talk I couldn't handle it anymore; this whole thing had just gone too far for me. Also, time revealed that not the least of his problems was immigration as he has a deportation order against him, as I came to find out. Well, it just goes to show you that these people are out there and they are after one thing. Mostly, they want to find a way to get into this country and marriage of course is the easiest way, if they can make you feel sorry for them. Ladies and guys too, get a clue. If someone is in their late 30's and their life is a complete mess and too many unexplained things, and especially if they are from another country, BEWARE. This guy is still out there looking for women who would be sympathetic to him and how bad his life has been. Lots of big promises and flashy talk, but all he wants is a visa into the U.S. and if that happens, it will be finito for you, big time.

— Genny, 31

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