Love with an Introvert

Nineteen months ago, I met and started dating a friend. We met at work at a local hospital, and did opposite shifts. Things were very passionate, and the conversation was great. We spent a lot of time in the garden and agreed to work on a full garden for that summer. After several months, things began to change. He moved in and the relationship took a serious turn. There were small things that began to "sprout up." He did not like to go out; he told me about his past, but it seemed it was never his fault for the damage that occurred. He did not want to work in the garden weeding when I was at work, saying that the spiders were chasing him out of the garden. The garden went to weeds, despite all efforts. In October, I had a serious talk with him about his direction or lack there of, and told him that he was wasting the most precious resource that he had, himself. He got mad. I guess he left to go see his ex-girlfriend that also worked at the hospital at 3am. Then, he came back home said that he was sick and was going to stay home that day. So, I went to work and when I got home at 2:30, all his things were gone. People had seen him with her at the hospital being very passionate for the video cameras. Then I found out about their rendezvous in a certain room at the hospital. It was about a month before we starting talking again. I did allow him back into my life; then in February, he decided to become a traveler in the medical industry. First he went to Indiana for 13 weeks, then came home and talked about marriage to our children. He gave me a friendship ring, went to a job interview in Oregon, and accepted the job. Then, he went off to Michigan for an eight week assignment. He told people that he had to go take care of his sick parents. Meanwhile, I was taking care of the home front. I was also dealing with a family loss, and the loss of my job. I got a job assignment in Idaho (for only 8 weeks where I can drive home on weekends), and my boyfriend showed up three hours before I was to leave. He asked if he can follow me the 290 miles to the hospital. The scenario would have been: arriving at about 10pm, staying up all night, and having to get up at 4am and be alert and sharp. So, I said no. My boyfriend stopped calling and emailing me. He sent me an email on Thanksgiving that said that he could no longer stand the rollercoaster that I was putting him through, that I had put him on a shelf and had given him the cold shoulder, and was mad at a private conversation that he had overheard between my son and his father. Nothing more has been said. He broke my heart; but worst of all, he never had the courage to tell me to my face, or even talk to me. So watch out girls in Oregon. He is smooth with the excuses. His ex-wives, ex-relationships, and I are going to be at fault. What is really funny is that I loved this person; I truly loved him despite all his flaws.

— Sarah, 43

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