Espresso Aftermath

I have gone out on a few dates with this guy, and when summer came around the corner, he invited me to go on his boat with him. We had to be at the marina early in the morning so I didn't have time to eat breakfast. When he picked me up, he stopped to get me some coffee to give me some energy. Not knowing that caffeine was a stimulant and gave you diarrhea if you drank it on an empty stomach, we went to Starbucks and I ordered a large espresso drink. When we got on the boat and were in the middle of the lake, I felt cramps in my lower stomach. I went to use his bathroom as I had really bad diarrhea. What's worse was that the toilet was only meant for urinating because the liquid slides down to the tank underneath the toilet. I didn't know what to do; was I supposed to just leave it sitting in the toilet along with the toilet paper? Then I heard him call down, "Oh, don't put the toilet paper in the toilet because the toilet doesn't flush!" I was like great, thanks for telling me this now. The smell was terrible, so I decided that the only thing I could do was keep him from going to the bathroom. I decided to message my friend and tell her to call my cell phone right away to pretend like there was a crisis going on and I needed to leave right away. Being the gentleman he was, he turned the boat around and drove it to shore. He excused himself to go to the bathroom before we went to his car because it was a long drive home. I couldn't say, "NO! Don't go to the bathroom!" but I was hoping that a miracle might happen to make him turn around. Of course, no miracle happened. I didn't hear a single word from him the entire car ride home. Nor did he ever ask me out on a date again.

— Brenda, 24

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