Disaster of a Husband

My dating disaster turned out later to be my husband. We married, of course, my biggest regret! He pretended to be an honest, loving, caring person, and of course I fell for him. I can't believe that I was such a fool to believe such a conniving person. I was single for about fourteen years. I dated of course but was afraid of marriage. I'd been there before! He convinced me to marry him, although I was skeptical. Not long after, he was lying, womanizing, and lusting for every woman he saw. He ended up committing adultery with someone he didn't even care for! He Disrespected me and hurt me. I was never really physically attracted to him. Honestly, I felt that I was more of a catch for him that he was for me. I chose to overlook that because I thought that he was the sweetest thing that ever walked the face of the earth and looks had always been important to me. He grew on me and I accepted him just the way he was. How can someone like me have fallen so hard just to be hurt, when I always had my guard up? We are still married now but I am in the process of getting a divorce. He doesn't know this yet, but I am going to drop the bomb on him. He doesn't think that I have the guts to do so. I need to respect myself by leaving him and not letting him take advantage of me. He has taken every bit of love and respect that I had for him. Now I feel that I could never, ever, love again. Well, not for awhile anyway.

— Carmen, 34

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