Well Versed Jerk

One evening, I decided, to vary from the normal for me, and check out a chat room or two. While in one of them, I received a message to talk to a new person. I normally would block them and go on out of shyness or insecurity. I was still not sure, but something in me accepted the chat invitation. He was really nice, and interesting to talk to. I enjoyed the conversation, and thought that was that. It wasn't and we started chatting daily. Then, one day, he asked me if I had a mirror handy. I said no, so he asked me to find one. I did as asked, (curiosity killing me) and told him I had the mirror. He told me to look in it. Still curious, I did. He said do you see the face that's there? At my response, he asked why that face had captivated his every waking moment. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond, but, well, it got to me. He had other wonderful things like that to capture my heart also, it was hopeless for me. That was 8 months ago. In the interim, he had started working for a trucking company, cross country, so our contact with each other was mostly cell phone or a very quick IM whenever he was home. The shocker came when one day he told me he had had trouble accessing one of his email accounts. His room mate could access them for him, but he couldn't get into them for some reason. So, the last time he was home, he was not able to get into it. He asked me to try for him, gave me his pass code, and I did so. What I found there was a nightmare to my heart. It started with one message he asked me to respond to for him ... his response to her being, "Still yearning," like he had sent to me so many times!!! That was just the beginning!!! We were on our cell phones, and he was going into an area where he was loosing reception, said he would call me back. This is entirely out of character for me, but the shock, and the available access to his emails was more than I could refuse, considering the email he had just asked me to send out!!! I found what I didn't want to. Emails of desire, love etc to other women, some done on the same day as ones he had sent to me! When he called me back, I was devastated, asking him why? He said that none of them mattered to him, like I did. He just played around or toyed with them. I then asked him how was I to know that I wasn't just one of his toys also? I also let him know that those other women he was toying with had hearts, just like I did. He was nothing but a well practiced, well versed jerk!! My heart is still broken, and I am still in disbelief of all of this. I really was surprised at how much I was able to grow to love someone with just typed words on a page and cell phone communications. I didn't even know what he looked like!!!

— Rhonda, 32

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