My wife confessed to me that she is in love with her boss. He is twenty years older than her and is also married. She told me they have sex twice a week and that he is a better lover and better endowed than I am. She said she would leave me and marry him in a heartbeat, but he won't leave his wife and family. The reason she finally told me was because he was paying for her plastic surgery to have her breasts enlarged, and she wanted to be sure I knew it was for him and not me. I begged her to please stay and that I would do whatever it took to keep her as my wife. She said as long as I keep the house clean, cook, and do her laundry, she will keep me around.
— Oliver, 35