I'm not sure if this is middle age crises or I'm just losing my mind. My fascination with the viewing of nude guys is getting out of control. It started when I started working out to help control my diabetes; the hot sauna and steam rooms were a meeting ground for the gay guys as well as the straight. Viewing men nude became a fantasy ground for what now has progressed to watching gay porn and enjoying it. I have received oral sex a total of three time from some male friends over the course of time; my feeling is that oral is oral, and maybe men know what men like better than women. I also accepted oral from a guy who came into my shower stall, and ever since I'm concerned about where all this is going. I cannot turn this addiction off; I have lived ninety percent of my life as a straight man, but all that is left now is confusion.
— Drew, 55