Biggest Regret

I married a strong, athletic woman whose body and mind were perfect tens. While dating, she'd taught me to totally enjoy giving her oral sex. Our married sex life included just about anything. I knew she had lots of girlfriends and I was secretly very aroused by the thought of her making love with a woman. One Saturday afternoon in our den, we were goofing around with a friend of hers when the subject turned to sex. My wife started taunting me that her friend could make love to her better than I could. Young and inexperienced, it didn't matter that I was totally aroused by her teasing. I was afraid to let them know how turned-on I was becoming. She teased unmercifully and I almost suggested they go take care of those needs, but I wasn't sure if she'd been simply teasing or if she was really serious about making love with her friend. I let the opportunity pass because I didn't want to lose her. While fixing dinner that evening, the air seemed really charged with sexual tensions when my wife said she needed to see me in our bedroom. We excused ourselves and she closed the bedroom door behind us. She sat on the bed and simply said she wanted to sleep with her friend. I couldn't hold back my excitement and told her that was fantastic and that I too wanted her to make love to her friend. She cautioned me that this would be all for them and nothing for me. Thinking maybe I could watch, I was still excited. She told me that she wanted another woman in her love life, but that she didn't want me to have another woman. As exciting as she was, I didn't think I needed anyone else and eagerly agreed. She told me I'd need to sleep in another room. I started asking if I could sleep in any corner of the same room they were in. Frustrated, she said that she had changed her mind and the idea was off. I knew she was just tired of me repeatedly asking to watch them. I should have given them some space that night and maybe enjoyed a new aspect to our love life, but I didn't. She soon told me to get a divorce. Had I given her some space that night, I can only imagine what our lives might be like today. I know, she still might have left, but then again we might have made it work. I guess that is my biggest regret, having missed the opportunity to try.

— Cliff, 60

Love Library: Featured Articles