Shag Pile Sex
While working at a carpet factory, the owner's sixty-two year old wife forever made my life hell. One day, I asked her why she always had to give me a hard time. Her reply was, "Well, you can always return the feeling." Within seconds, I had her bent over a roll of shag pile with her dress over her head. For the next six months, I laid her like a good old Aminster carpet until the place went bust.
— Peter, 28