She Wants Fantasy To Be Reality

My beautiful, intelligent, wife, whom I adored, finally took me aside one night and admitted that she wanted to sleep with her friend who was in the next room. For some, this would be a turn-off, but for me, it was a turn-on. I said it would be fantastic! She cautioned me that it would not include me; that there would be pleasure for the two of them, but none for me. I agreed, and then asked if there would still be a place for me in her love-life. She quickly agreed that there would be. I really wanted this in our life but didn't know how to respond to it once it was offered. Dumbly, I pressed to get to watch. I didn't acquiesce, and she finally feigned a loss of interest. I didn't know how to handle the news that was actually my greatest, secret fantasy. Had I backed off and given her some time alone with her lover, she could have figured out how to incorporate this into our relationship. Later, when alone, I should have pursued an open dialogue about this, to understand what she wanted and to understand how we could handle this with regard to our families, friends, and ultimately how she envisioned it with regard to our relationship. I think I could have saved a marriage that I really wanted, but I just didn't know how to respond to this. Our marriage ended in a divorce that I didn't want! What I have taken from this is that if I'm ever in a similar situation, I should talk, demonstrate, fight, and do anything possible to try to save the marriage. Then, if it still dies, I will know that it is truly over and cannot be resurrected. As it is, I am still holding on to a hope that we may some day be reconnected.

— Bennet, 34

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