Fallen Too Deep

He is my coworker. We started our relationship because he was asked to drive me to and from work since we lived three minutes away from each other. Of course, I knew he was married, and that's why I only saw him as one of those cute looking guys around work. One night when he drove me home like usual, he told me when we stopped at an intersection close by our neighborhood that he kind of liked me. At the time, I was only nineteen and he was twenty-four. I was excited to hear that he liked me. My intention was to mess with his mind. I thought I would have control over all of this. Later on, I felt really guilty when we made out. And, finally, I lost my virginity. It was not because I loved him but because I wanted to know what it felt like. Now I realize that all of my intentions were wrong. The more I know him, the more I fall for the guy. I finally broke up with my ex-boyfriend. Six months ago, I started dating this new guy, and I told him about this married one. Since then, he's watched my every move and somehow helped me to get out of this mess. But it wasn't over like I thought. My boyfriend and I happen to have a long-distance relationship. Plus, the married guy never let go of me. I finally fell back to the problem. Now, this guy convinces me that he is head over heals for me but cannot afford to get a divorce since they just had a child together. He asks for nothing but to know I'm existing and that he doesn't want to lose me forever. He said he knows one day he will dare to ask his wife for a divorce but just not now. I have tried tons of times to call it off, but since we are coworkers, it just couldn't be any easier. I now cannot love my boyfriend like before, and he knows something is different. So, we are always arguing, which is really stressing. The married guy said he was too selfish to let me go. He said he has fallen for me too deep to just cut me out of his life, and now I feel the same way.

— Melissa, 26

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