Torn Between Two Lovers
I have this fiancé that is very strong for sex. He bothers me every night for it, but I'm thirty-four-years-old, and I believe that my sex drive has been gone for a long time. I believe that my attraction is gone for him but I don't know why. He is a very good-looking, young, twenty-nine-year-old man. I make him wait for it very late in the night until he pursues it. It makes him frustrated to wait for it. We even argue about it all the time, just about every night, and he sounds like a broken record every night. I believe I'm going through menopause or it could be my diabetes that I have. But when I was in my late twenties, my sex drive was like his, very strong. I've been living with him for over a year. But there is this forty-five-year-old man that I have known for over six years that I guess I'm attracted to because every time I think of him, I get very excited. I'm no cheater and never have been in my past relationships. I don't know what it is about this forty-five-year-old man that I am attracted to, but I just am. I guess I'm attracted to older men. Sex was connected very well in thought. We both liked the same things in life, but I guess I just couldn't get it together with the older man in my life. My sex drive was very good with the older man and not so very good with the younger man that is twenty-nine. So what should I do? I want to get married because I'm not getting any younger. But with this younger guy, everything is about sex. I mean, I have to go though internet sex, sex magazines, porno movies, sexual gestures talking about himself and his private parts. His vocabulary is very short in talk, whether it's on TV or movies. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not hearing something about sex, sex, and sex. It is getting very old. I guess I'm wasting my time with this young one and need to get it together with this older one. I'm very stressed out from the young one. The younger guy is the more buff one from the military, and the older one is this skinny guy who is more romantic than the younger one. However, the younger one has proposed to me.
— Lolita, 34