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By Terrey L. Hatcher

When you break up because your honey is just not ready for a commitment, you hold out hope that this person you wanted will come to their senses and realize that you really are the one. But then the unthinkable happens….

You hear that your ex-sweetheart is suddenly engaged and professes to be happier than ever before. What gives? How could this person who wasn’t ready for a commitment several months ago now all of a sudden be ready for marriage?

Bouncing Back Quickly
Well, obviously it takes the right person to make someone want to commit to a lasting bond. But it might be a bit of the rebound effect as well.

Hold up, though! I don’t mean that the way you’re hoping I do. I’m not saying that your ex’s new dedication is a temporary response to a bad breakup. But actually this change might say some good things about you. In fact, you might be slightly responsible for this newfound ability to commit.

I know, I know…that’s not what you want to hear. But put yourself in your ex’s shoes. If you had a breakup with someone you cared about and you felt like a good deal of it was caused by how you treated your sweetheart, then how would you respond? If your ex is a decent human being—let’s hope so!—then he or she would probably move into a period of soul searching.

And if your ex really cared about you and thought you were special, there might be some regrets about it not working out. Then your old flame might realize that he or she needs to behave differently in the future if a real, lasting relationship is in the cards.

Learning from Mistakes
So you might have inspired a wake-up call for your lost lover. You might have finally gotten through to him or her about having to go all in if you want to keep someone you care about.

Unfortunately, it’s too late for you. And that hurts. A lot. It hurts to know that you’re not the one who could inspire this kind of commitment. It hurts to know that he or she could actually have the ability to change that quickly into someone who could make a lasting vow.

But you can’t change that. You can’t have a do-over. You can only realize that you weren’t the one for your ex. And, more important, your ex wasn’t the one for you, as much as you wished it so and tried to make love last.

No Second Guessing
All you can do is move on. Live your life in your own way. And don’t be bitter.

Be happy that you’re not stuck with someone who couldn’t make you a top priority. When you find that special someone, you’ll both know it. And you’ll both want to make a lasting bond together without any ultimatums or desperation moves.

Of course your mind goes to other places when your ex commits so quickly to someone else. You think, “Why wasn’t I enough?” The truth, though, is that your ex wasn’t enough for you. When you find someone who is, you’ll know it and you’ll both be able to show it.