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By Terrey L. Hatcher

There’s no doubt that first dates can be nerve wracking. You have lots of questions roaring through your head as you’re trying to get ready.

First you’ve got to deal with the natural, mundane ones:

• What should I wear?
• What time do I have to leave? Am I going to be late?
• What will my date think of me?
• Why is my hair doing that weird thing?

Then you’ve got the spaz-out and freak-out thoughts:

• Will I like this person at all?
• Why am I doing this?
• Can I stay home and binge on Netflix instead?
• What if I do something stupid?
• What if I fall down?
• What if I fall in love?

Then you’ve got some deeper issues that require some thought:

• Wait, do I have bad breath?
• Do I look fat in this outfit?
• What will we have to talk about?

OK, now stop! There’s a question I can help you with! That last one…you always have things to talk about if you prepare. And you’d better prepare well if you want a successful first date.

Prepare Your Lines
Here’s what you can do. Instead of asking yourself all these freakazoid questions, ask yourself some useful ones and write down the answers in your phone’s notes app. That way you can read them in the bathroom if your mind goes blank and you’re just sitting in front of your date with a vague smile on your face.

• What are three things I’ve done this year that were new and different, that were breaking out of the box for me? Why did I do them? What did I get out of the experience that helped me grow?
• What are three things I’ve done this year that I’m proud of? Were they brave? Scary? Successful?
• What are three things I want to do next year? Why? How will they help me improve myself?

OK, now you’ve got some real conversation starters to share. And they should boost your confidence.

But Don’t Dominate
But you also want to get your date talking, right? Remember this first-date equation: All me plus no you always equals no date number two.

So how will you get your date to open up? No, I’m not talking about alcohol! Think of five questions you can to ask to get to know your new friend. Now throw those out and do not write them down…seriously! No asking these questions:

• How many siblings do you have?
• Where did you grow up?
• Did you play a sport in high school?
• When did you have your first kiss?
• Do you want to have kids?

Those questions can wait until the second, third or fourteenth date. Now think of the kinds of questions that would get you talking about all those things you wrote down earlier about yourself. Be thoughtful. Be creative. Yes! Those are the questions you’re going to ask when talking with your date. Now write them down, sweetie! You’re nervous and you might forget them.

Check Yourself
OK, I think you just might be ready. But make sure you wear clean underwear, don’t have any toilet paper hanging off your shiny new shoes and don’t have any slimy or cakey things hanging from your nose.

Go for it! Have a fabulous first date!