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And we use sex as a tool to get into relationships, too. Why do you think there are so many dating books advising us to 'play hard to get,' or the old saw about the woman having the power in the relationships only as long as she's holding out on her man?

We wondered if this was effective, so we asked He and She: Can you use sex to manipulate your partner into committing?

He Says:

I don't think so. In fact, I'm would venture to say that men are more likely - not less - to commit to a woman if there's a sexual component to the relationship and we know she finds us desirable. We want to be with the woman who can't keep her hands off us. Not the girl who's using her body as a tool to finagle us into falling in love with her.

She Says:

I'm pretty sure no person can force someone to fall in love with them. Certainly not "love" in any meaningful or lasting way. And even if you could, would you want to? I think it's much better to go with whatever's comfortable for you. Not hook up early as a way to snag his interest or hold off as a means to manipulate his feelings.