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By Terrey L. Hatcher

It's a cliché that feels so wrong. But maybe if so many people say it's right, it is. Guys sometimes need their space.

When a guy's thinking about your relationship and where it's headed, sometimes that can get scary. Admit it, you get scared too.

The difference is that guys want to go off by themselves or with their buddies and think about that fear and what they will have to do to move forward in the relationship. They want some freedom before they can even imagine getting closer to you and committing to more involvement.

Women want to spend time together and talk about it. That helps us see how our guy responds and how we can communicate about those feelings.

Seeking a Comfort Zone
Why is it that his need for space trumps your need for communication? For both of you, it's about comfort. You have to be comfortable with the decision that you're making. You have to be comfortable giving more of yourself to this person you're getting close to.

If you give him time alone to get comfortable in his head with opening up to you, then you'll have plenty of time when you're back in each other's company to get comfortable in each other's arms.

It's really hard to open yourself up to someone else, especially when you've been hurt in previous relationships. You've got to get clear in your head that this is someone you want to grow with. That can take time. Time apart.

It's so hard for us women to accept that and not feel like it's a rejection. All our friends talk about wanting love at first sight, an all-encompassing love, someone who would give everything for us. But that rarely happens right away. Some of the strongest relationships are built over time, with some give and take, some doubt and some certainty, some fears and some strong love.

Building Mutual Trust
Of course, you don't want to be treated like your feelings don't count. You don't want to be pushed aside when things get tough. You want a guy you can trust. A guy you can count on.

Well, maybe for him to get to that point, you have to let him know you care about him enough to give him the space he needs to figure things out. If you do, you might find that his darkest doubts lead him to see you as the brightest star in his sky.

Patience, respect and love will pay off. If not with him, then with stronger love for yourself and knowledge that he wasn't what you need.

It takes the right conditions to see those twinkles clearly. Don't let any temporary clouds stop you from shining! You're a bright star, even if he can't see your dazzling light right away.