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By Francesca Rockwell

Male-female friendships can cause tension in relationships, that's no secret. But that doesn't mean you have to give up your friend to please your lover.

If you've got a friend of the opposite gender that you enjoy hanging out with, then good for you! And you've got a mate too—that's great!

Acknowledge the Attraction
But maybe you feel a strong connection with your pal and wonder whether it's okay to be friends. Should you stop it because there's some emotional attraction? That depends….

Think of it in terms of your friends of the same gender. You're attracted to them too, aren't you?

You're attracted to their optimistic outlook, or their snarky wit or their ability to make fun of themselves. Or maybe you enjoy hanging out because you both like comic books or the same band, or you're both obsessed with squirrels.

Whatever you have in common with your friends, it makes you love being with them. That doesn't necessarily translate to love in the romantic sense.

And you don't need to fear it. You should embrace it and be happy you've met someone you can relate to and share your thoughts and interests with.

Make Things Clear
Your friendship isn't a threat to your relationship unless you let it be. How can you keep that from happening? Be straight up.

That means first of all making sure your lover knows that you've got a close friend who's important to you but is not a romantic interest. It also means making sure your friend knows you're romantically involved with someone you care about deeply.

You should be able to introduce the two. But that doesn't mean there's something wrong if you aren't comfortable hanging out as a threesome all the time.

We all have friends who bring different kinds of happiness to our lives. That doesn't mean we're comfortable going out in a group with all of our friends. They just don't always click the same way that you do one on one.

Don't Cross the Line
But if your lover is uncomfortable with the friendship, then you need to look at how you're handling it and how your sweetie and your friend are handling it. Are you doing all you can do to make the situation clear and comfortable? Is your friend too flirty or too tempting? Is your honey overreacting and trying to control you? Look honestly at all parties involved, especially your own behavior and motivations, and then do what your instincts tell you to do.

Friends can be close and well loved without enticing you to share benefits. Those benefits belong to your lover. But your heart (as a caring friend) can belong to your pal too.

You know when you're stepping over the line. So respect all of the important people in your life by being a good friend and a good lover. But respect yourself enough to not let anyone limit your close relationships.