Search

Look anywhere in pop culture and you'll see that the shy, the introverted and the socially awkward are having a moment. In movies, music and culture, nerdiness has never been sexier.

But your clever mind and adorable vulnerability won't do you any good if you can't muster the courage to talk to people.

Ready to tackle your timidity?

Bold Move #1: Plan ahead.

Always at a loss at what to say? Come up with a few icebreakers you can always ask (e.g., "I'm thinking of getting away for a few weeks. What's the best trip you've taken recently?") and rehearse them. Delivery is important, too; just fake the confidence you don't have. Pretend that you're the attractive, charming and fun person you'd like to be. Eventually you may be surprised to find out that you really are.

Bold Move #2: Practice with low stakes.

Make small talk with folks you're not worried about impressing: grocery clerks, bank tellers, the neighbors. Eventually, chatting up perfect strangers will stop feeling weird, and you'll be less uncomfortable striking up a conversation with someone you do want to impress.

Bold Move #3: Cast a 'Net.

The Internet has blessedly provided you with the means to meet and connect with strangers in a way you may struggle to do in real life. You can take your time crafting just the right message, be flirty without feeling self-conscious and warn your dates about your shyness so they're not surprised by a few moments of awkward silence.

Bold Move #4: Scout smart locales.

Visit places that don't require as much talking. Pick events - ultimate Frisbee, surfing, ballroom dancing, whatever - where the activity is the focus and there's less pressure to chat. Or go to places (wine tastings, museums) that give you a conversation topic built right in. Steer clear of restaurants, bars or cafes until you're more comfortable.

Bold Move #5: Be a great listener.

Shy people have one irresistible quality that effusive talkers don't: They're great listeners. Instead of worrying about what hilarious retort you should come up with and feeling anxious about doing something wrong, focus your thoughts completely on what the other person is saying. You'll forget your jitters and you'll flatter whomever you're talking to.