Search

By Terrey L. Hatcher

Dating gurus tell single people all the time to ask for help from friends and family. They say you should tell them that you're ready to meet someone and that you want them to keep you in mind. But, unfortunately, what your friends have in mind is not necessarily what you envision for yourself.

Have you ever been set up on a blind date? Sometimes it's a match made in heaven. Sometimes it's an experience you'd like to repeat…only when hell freezes over!

Set Up by Foolish Friends
When you hear “Oh, I have a friend I'd like you to meet,” do you cringe? Or do you perk up and pay attention? That probably depends on your past experience with blind dates. Why do some friends think that all it takes to make a good match is two people they know who are both single?

The next time a friend or family member wants to connect you with a dating prospect, ask a few screening questions:

• How long have you known this person?
• How well do you know this person?
• Why do you think we'd like each other?
• What do you think we have in common?
• Why is your friend single?
• Has there been a recent bad breakup?
• Does this person have a job?
• Is your friend attractive?
• Would you date this person if you were available?

Okay, so you don't necessarily need to ask all those questions, or you'll come off like a police investigator. But consider asking a few that you think are important. Because if you've had any experience with blind dates, you know how quickly a potential Mr. or Ms. Right can become wrong, wrong, wrong!

Like the time your date ordered milk before dinner, and then he asked for peanut butter and jelly for the entrée. Or when she showed up in what looked like bathing suit top, shorts and flip flops for a nice dinner out. Or when he admitted he was about to get separated and his kids didn't know yet. Or when she confessed that she'd been sleeping with your married matchmaker, and the setup with you was to try to help them stop the affair.

Bored by Stale Stories
Maybe you've had a date who told you countless horror stories about the crazy ex. Or one who gushed about the wonderful ex and moaned about the really, really hard breakup. And couldn't stop talking about it the whole evening.

Blind dates, like any other date, can end up being a mismatch. However, we all hope for that one-in-a-million connection when two people meet who are really right for each other.

Unfortunately, the only way to tell is to give it a try. But you can also do some prescreening to avoid those really bad fixups that leave you wanting a major life overhaul—including dumping the friend who connected you with this dating disaster.

Wowed by a Charming Connection
Don't give up hope! Many blind dates actually do lead to long-term relationships. But that's when the two people are compatible. Not when they're miles apart in terms of values, sense of humor, intelligence, looks and social interests.

To improve your chances of a lucky linkup, screen your matchmakers and screen your dates. Then go for it if you think the person has potential. When you take a calculated risk, you just might reap a big payoff in return. Ka-ching!