By Laura Snyder

You've spent enough time with your honey to know how he likes his coffee or which television shows she can't live without. While sharing that kind of superficial information is important to understanding each other, you really need to open up about your deep, dark secrets to have real intimacy.

Fortunately, there are ways to get your sweetie to spill. Some secrets to getting him or her to gab:

Prove Yourself Worthy

If there's something your sweetheart doesn't want to share, it's usually because they're worried that you'll take a poke at their soft, exposed underbelly. You don't have to say straight out that you're cool with their confessions, demonstrate you can deal by being sympathetic and not suffocating when you can tell there's something bugging your babe.

Share Your Own Skeletons

When you reveal something personal about yourself it lets your partner know you trust them enough not to think less of you. That could lead your partner to realizing they can share something private, too. It's also a little bit of a power issue. If your sweetie feels they've "got something" on you, it's less risky for them to fess up their feelings, too.

Know Conversation Cues

Figure out what conditions make conversation flow between you two. Many people - guys in particular - feel more comfortable sharing the deep stuff when you're sitting at angles to each other (not face-to-face) and are distracting yourselves with another activity. Think long car rides, walks outside, washing your car, or doing the dishes together.

Now Listen Up

If you're gabbing away all the time, your liplocked lover has no choice but to be speechless. So, once you've got the goods to getting him or her to open up, make sure you're really listening. Don't push for more information than you partner is willing to give, and don't offer unsolicited advice. Just listen without judging and you'll have a better chance at being a valued sounding board.