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4 Things Your Lover Won't Tell You (But Wishes You Would Know)

By Laura Snyder

Sure, you and your lover talk about your sex life. But after "Oh, yes, keep doing that" and "Ooh, harder", how much do you really know about what your honey is thinking while you're burning up the bedsheets?

You might be surprised what's on their mind...

It's Not You, It's Me

Most of what we feel about sex relates to ourselves, not about your partners. If your lover doesn't seem to be as into sex as they used to be, it probably isn't that they no longer feel attracted to you, but that they probably feel insecure over something about themselves. That's why you need to put the moves on him or her once in awhile and show them they're still desirable.

Yeah, that was fun once, but...

It's so easy to fall into sexual routines, trotting out the same old tired moves that are sure to please. But, after awhile, even once audacious actions lose their luster. That's because it was the spontaneity of the gesture that was really supplying the kick. Instead of following your usual randy recipe, infuse your lovemaking with a new, creative move.

I wish you wouldn't criticize me

It's good to let your partner know what is and isn't working for you, but naked criticism - even the softest kind - while doing the deed can make anyone feel like a failure. Save your suggestions for a time outside the bedroom and keep things positive with a focus on yourself. Use phrasing like "I'd love it if you..." instead of "You need to..."

I'm afraid you'll laugh at my fantasy

For most of us, our deepest sexual fear is that you'll think we're a big fat pervert for suggesting we try our secret hot teacher/naughty nurse/sexy secretary fantasy. But try and hear us out, without passing judgment. Just because we fantasize about doing it a different way, it doesn't mean we're unhappy with you. In fact, many times just talking about our secret sex dreams is enough to make us hot. It doesn't mean we actually want to invite the office manager into bed with us.

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