Romance Realities

The Ugly Truths You Need to Accept

If you're a chick, you've probably spent countless hours trying to make sense of your love life. And guys? Okay, maybe for you it wasn't countless hours, but don't tell us you haven't wondered about it.

Well, we've had it with the drama and mental mind bending required in figuring out love. So we offer these four romance realities you can just stop obsessing over.

Romance Reality #1: If they didn't call, they just don't care enough.
It sucks but it's true: if he or she doesn't call you within a week, they're just not that interested. Ignore the excuses — how can anyone be too busy to find five minutes for a phone call? By waiting more than a week to pick up the phone, they're sending a message: you're not that important. Can you hear that loud and clear?

Romance Reality #2: There's more than one 'The One'.
Wake up and smell the science. "The soul mate theory is not supported by research," says Hope College sociologist and marriage counselor Jim Piers.  But that doesn't stop some 88 percent of single Americans in their 20s from thinking there's a "special person waiting for [them] out there somewhere." (This according to Rutgers University's National Marriage Project). If you're holding out for an idealized and elusive perfect match, you're limiting yourself.

Romance Reality #3: Gasp! Your partner isn't perfect!
Let's go back to our chemistry lesson. Science tells us that falling in love is a result of brain circuit programming that develops a mental image of our ideal "Mr. Right" or "Girl of My Dreams".  When that ideal walks into the room, hormones go into overdrive and you think you've found The One.  When those heady feelings inevitably start to wane, we worry that it means our love is dying a slow death. In reality, it's just the drop-off of the love hormones that hijacked your nervous system. "After that hormone rush wears off, we become disillusioned and feel that we are no longer in love. We think they have changed when in reality, our neurochemistry has," says Dr. Galdino Pranzarone, professor of psychology at Roanoke College in Salem, Va.

Romance Reality #4: The sex will change.
Once you've been together for awhile, you're just not going to be doing it as often or as eagerly as you first did. Don't panic, though, because once you're relaxed with each other you open the doors to comfortable experimentation. And that can lead to your best sex ever.

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